There had been a lot of things that happened to me in the past that keeps on haunting me until now; things I did that I never been proud of, revenge and hatred to people who had hurt me or did terrible things to me, wasted almost my whole life blaming people of what I have become. I am such a stubborn person that I kept on making the same mistakes over and over when I should’ve learned from it and move on. I have been a prisoner of my past that nothing had happened in my life; dreams that I never got to fulfil. I never got contented with everything that has happening to me.
Each year, I would tell myself to start forgetting the pain, hatred that I felt in the past, to stop wasting my life and start living in the present. Saying and never meant to do it or not being able to really forgive and forget will make you go back to the darkness, to the past that will forever haunt me. Even so, I still want to be optimistic that eventually, I can escape it and start a new life.
Now, that 2017 had started I am now ready to close the old chapters of my life and prepare to start a new on with the lessons I’ve learned from the past without the ever getting stuck in the past again. I know I will never be able to get back the time I wasted and/or change my past (I would be really thankful if I could though.) Even though I admit that I have a lot of things in me that I am not proud of. Also, time is of the essence since I am not young and never getting any younger; there are a lot of catching up to do with myself.This is who I am now, this is what I have become. I must embrace and love myself as who I am because no one will ever give you an unconditional love than that of myself. Change for the better and be the person who I want to be. In 2017, I will be turning 35 I hope that I would still be able to fulfill even just a part of my dreams; to have a family of my own, to be successful in my life, travel around the world. I am hoping that it is not too late.
I know what I am saying in this post is really confusing and nonsense to a lot of people; most especially those who doesn’t know me or know the things I’ve been through but I did not do this to gain anything or to explain and please others. I am done doing that for a long time. This is just a simple message to myself as a way of bidding farewell to 2016 and welcoming 2017 positively.
Life is too short to get imprisoned in the past. Let it go and free myself; I am human, I am entitled to do crazy things that can be embarrassing or can also be something I can be proud of.
I may not be able to rewrite the chapters of my past but 2017 had just started and the pages are still blank I am thankful that I was given this opportunity to start writing a whole new story, new direction of my life. There will be bumps and trials but its all part of life so long as I get to learn and escape from the situations. To positive changes, to fresh start; I welcome 2017 with optimism.
Happy New Year to all! Cheers!