Category Archives: reality bites

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What is Self-Care?

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I remember growing up, I was always told that I was not good enough, was not beautiful because I was fat, was always compared to my older and younger sister, I was a loner and bullied at school. During those … Continue reading

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Woman… I am

Each time a woman stands up for herself… she stands up for all women – J.K. Rowling Even though the issue had been there for a long time; women still receives unfair treatment. Rape, murder, sexual abuse, violence are just … Continue reading

Bullying

Bullying for me is like cancer, it has been there for years yet we still have not found a real cure for it. It starts out small and eventually would become bigger and bigger as it spreads out until such time that it takes away our lives (mentally and physically).

It is easy to say stop bullying but once we witness it and/or is happening in front of us we sometimes pretend we did not see it or just move on with what we are doing. Why? Simple, because we are afraid to be in that same situation, to be the victim of bullying. We are afraid to get into trouble maybe because as kids we were taught to stay out of trouble. We are afraid that the bully themselves would turn to us and start to hit back at us or worst our loved ones.

It is easy for people to say “just speak out” or “learn to stand up” but if you were in the victims’ shoes you would know how hard it is to do so. Knowing that if we do ‘speak out’ and/or ‘stand up’ could cause further consequences. Victims are afraid to ‘stand up’ or ‘speak up’ because they know something much worst can happen to them or their loved ones. They can’t talk to their parents about it or their close friends because they do not want their loved ones to worry about them and/or add up to the list of things that their loved ones are worrying about.

How do we really stop bullying when the people who we look up to are the bullies themselves? How to stop bullying if the persons who should be teaching us are also bullies? How do we stop bullying if what we see on TV or on the net are forms of bullying? These goes to the children, they are so easy to manipulate; the things they see grownups or people around them do they imitate it and without proper guidance they would easily think that it is the right thing to do.

It is easy to say to stop bullying or to talk about stopping it but people who must lead a good example or those we idolized are doing the wrong things; showing how they treat people, how they talk to other people. Children or adults can easily turn into a bully because they know for a fact that it is being tolerated by the society itself. And reality check, we all have a bully side, we might not notice it but once or twice we might have been a bully to someone though not intentionally or maybe intentionally.

Victims of bullying should not let this ruin your life. I know how hard it is to find someone who would listen, who would help but there is someone who would. I know it may seem impossible but do not lose hope for one day it will be better. Do not seek revenge because if you do you are in no different than the person who is bullying you. Make your current situation as a way for you to become a better version of yourself. Trust me, if you let this ruin your life it will not get you anywhere.

 

# Stop Bullying

Being a victim of bullying is not a laughing matter; hard to admit but I , myself is a victim. Being bullied almost all my life really made a huge impact in my life. One reason I grew up to have so much hatred, jealous and insecurities in me. I grew up to be cold-hearted, a loner and with trust issues. It felt like the world was against me thus the reason why I became suicidal. Even when I was already working I still experienced bullying. It took me a long time to have the courage to step up fight for myself. And until now I am still trying to build myself, to have confidence in me and to fight not to become my old self again.

Though bullying is more often treated as kids’ problem; an adult can also be a victim of bullying (ie gay bullying, disability bullying, workplace bullying, political bullying et al). There are many types of bullying; physical, verbal, relational and cyber.

To the bullies, I am just curious, what can you gain from intimidating other people? What can you gain from using force just to get what you want? How can you sleep at night knowing that you made someone’s life miserable? Have you found peace and happiness by making fun of someone? Why do you feel the need to have power over people?

It is said those who bully others are those who have problems of their own. It can be that they have insecurities, experienced traumatic and stressful situation, difficult home life or had experienced bullying. They needed as outlet thus the reason they need to have control over other people or situation. But does that give anyone the right to hurt or abuse someone? Do you have that much pain and hatred inside of you that you want to see other people suffer as well?

Those people who had experiences of being bullied before why not try to help those people who are being bullied? You already know the feeling of being bullied so why not give a helping hand and reach out instead of adding up to the wounds?

To the victims of bullying learn to speak up and fight for your rights. Do not push people away or distance yourself just because you felt like you are the worst person in the world. No, killing yourself is not the solution to your problem. It is ok to feel pain, it is ok to have problem, and it is ok to cry. If you need time to be alone do it; but remember to go back to those people who love you and cares for you. Do not let hatred get over you.

Each individual has different story to tell but one thing we have in common is that we will all go through rough paths in our lives. It’s the way life is; no such thing as perfect life and no shortcuts to take. We all feel pain and we suffer while living you do not need to add in and make people more miserable.

We don’t know what difficulty a person is going through in life; a person can be smiling from the outside but slowly dying from the inside. Don’t wait until someone reaches their breaking point that they decide to take away their life just to end their misery. So before you try to make fun of someone or start tormenting people, try to get to know them and be a person who helps rather than a bully.

Be Proud

“We live in a world where there is so much beyond our power to change, so keep reminding yourself DON’T stress over what you can’t change, give life your best shot and at the end of the day sit back with a smile and be very proud of WHO YOU ARE.” by http://www.inspirational-pictures-quotes.com

Love, Friendship

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe

Don’t Do to Others

Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.

I try to live by this quote as much as I can. Most of the times it is hard to refrain myself from doing things that I do not like other people would do to me and most of the times it would get back to me like a punch on my face. This is one of the reasons why I try my best not to do things to others that I would not want other people would do to me.

What quotes that you live by or at least try to live by?

xoxo,